Friendemies and Agon

I'm not a tennis fan and I don't really know much about the game, but yesterday's match between Federer and Nadal seem to me like a pretty good example of agon. A match between two really good opponents seems to elevate both players' games. and ultimately has beneficial effects. Granted, Federer still wore his flashy white suit after winning, but even he seemed somewhat humbled afterwards. This is why Federer and Nadal are friendemies. When we talk about rhetoric and agon and athletics and kairos and pedagogy (along with people like Debbie and Chris) This seems to be precisely the kind of relationship that is at stake.

I can definitely attest to the pedagogical value of the friendemy relationship. When I was younger I had a ballet friendemy, Laura. We were both around the same skill level, but we were the most advanced students at our school, at the time. Since we were closely matched, talent-wise, we ended up pushing each other to improve. If she got something down before I did, I'd work extra hard to perfect it, and vice versa. Here's the thing about friendemyship, though: it's entirely unspoken. Laura and I hung out and never said anything to each other that so much as implied a rivalry, or jealousy, or anything like that. I don't know much about Nadal and Federer but it seems like they have a similar relationship--friendly on the outside, with a bit of enemy on the inside. But it's the kind of relationship that can be difficult to inculcate, deliberately. The Williams sisters probably had a built-in agon relationship, given their closeness in age and skill. In fact sibling relationships are ideal for this kind of thing. But it's not like you can just put any two people together and expect the same kind of relationship to emerge. It seems to require proximity and time, two things we can't automatically engineer in a classroom setting.

As an aside, if I were Nadal I think I'd have a little bit more enemy feelings on the inside because of Federer's self-presentation. The guy had a colour-coordinated ensemble, which included white pants and jacket, and the following items with gold detailing (to match the championship cup): shirt, sweater-vest (or golf shirt? couldn't tell), white bag (with four gold medallions symbolizing each of his Wimbledon championships), and shoes (also with gold medallions). Of course, Barbie has nothing against colour-coordination and I'm sure there's a Tennis Barbie out there with a similar ensemble. Maybe they can model a Tennis Ken doll after Federer. I'm sure he'd appreciate the opportunity for one more endorsement deal, wouldn't he?